On Birthdays

I'm not going to claim that I've even come close yet to wrapping my brain around the fact that I just turned 45. F-o-r-t-y F-i-v-e. The combination of those two numbers together weighs me down with thoughts of "middle aged" and "over the hill" and "way too old to even fake it any more". Maybe it's just me, but it's a heavy number. It even sounds weighty, solid: say it... F-o-r-t-y F-i-v-e... See? Me no likey. On the other hand, there is nothing more deserving of derision in my book than a woman who refuses to age with grace & acceptance. So here I am. Aging gracefully... dammit.

One positive element I'm starting to notice about being here, though, is the increasing (okay frantic) desire to embrace what I love and, conversely, cast off with wild abandon what I don't. Luckily, that is the exact direction in which I am in the process of taking my life, and although it will a bit more time to be in a position to fully embrace "the vision", I'm glad to be well on my way down the road toward it.

My birthday gift to myself.

Haha. I started this post thinking I would share the little knitting bits I gifted myself for my birthday, but now here we are, smack in the middle of contemplating life choices. Told you 45 is heavy. Anyway... as most of you know, I very much love and admire the designer Wendy Bernard, so I finally broke down and purchased Custom Knits 2. One of the things I need to get a better handle on with knitting pattern design is sizing, and specifically, the math involved in raglan designs . I'm hoping this book will help with that. And because you always have to buy enough from Knit Picks to get that free shipping, I also threw in a sampler set of their interchangeable needles and a ball of the Sugarbunny yarn. I have gobs of the Harmonies, which I love, but I alway seem to be short of 24" cords, and I thought it might be fun to try the acrylic tips just to see what they're like. The yarn is 80% Merino & 20% Angora and soft as, well, bunnies. Seriously. Just this side of cashmere soft! A scarf or cowl for myself, maybe, well see.

Truth is it will probably sit in my stash forever before I figure out what it wants to be, but it will be there waiting fore me. Maybe I'll find it when I'm 65 and laugh at the 45 year old me, freaking out over how old I thought I was! Such is life, right?

Right.